Home > Getting missional > what I didn’t say on the hamper blogs…

what I didn’t say on the hamper blogs…

This week really challenged me.  Like really.   It was an amazing experience but my heart has been enlightened to something about myself I don’t like.

Even just a year ago, I would have never done anything like this.  I was way too obsessed with what went in my mouth.  Anything that would make me “gain weight”, I would passionately reject (yet end up eating in masses later…. what’s with that??)

When I heard of the opportunity to live off a food hamper for a week I knew that the food I was going to be eating was going to include all the things that bloat me, make me gain weight…. in other words, all items “off limits’”.  But these days my hunger to get over myself is greater than my desire to be obsessive.  I’m thankful for that.

However that being said, half way through the week, all those old voices started whispering in my head about how fat I was getting and what this food was going to do to me.  I had many wars in my mind between quitting and staying the course.  I needed to kill my flesh because I’ve discovered….. it’s pretty strong.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about myself and society in general.  We worship a god called “food”.  We serve food.  We bend over backwards for food.   Our moods are effected by our consumption of it (and the scale afterwards).  If we are dare challenged to give some of it up, we arch our backs and get bent out of shape.  Don’t believe me?  Give up something you LOVE for 1 week.  Too easy?  Try a month and you’ll smell flesh burning.

From the anorexic, to the one struggling to the over weight, to the one who is always trying to lose the last 5 pounds, we all have a battle with food.   Why?  Because its actually not about the FOOD is it?  It goes deeper than that.  It’s about what we want….. and if we don’t get it, watch out.

Take a moment and think about that.   What does that say to us?   This is the reality I was faced with day after day of being on the hamper.   I was constantly hit with what I COULDN’T have and it was killing me inside.   What was the big deal?  It was only for a week?  Yet some moments the urge to dig into my desires were overwhelming.  The thoughts of the weight I was gaining haunted my mind. (thank goodness I don’t weigh myself!!)

Obsessing over food, HAVING to have something, worrying about weight, not being willing to go without the novelties, shows a greater issue that has made its home underneath the surface.

This week I was dedicated to see it through because I saw it as a fast for the less fortunate.  I wanted God to show me needs in our community through His eyes.  But He needs my SELF to die in order for that to happen.   For me, I was fasting my wants, cravings, and obsessions of health.

Do you serve food?  Or does food serve you as fuel and a means of bringing family/friends together?  Are you consumed with what to eat, not to eat, body image, weight?  Could you give up something in your food-routine that you love?  If not, why is that?  Is that telling you something?

 

 

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Categories: Getting missional
  1. Charlene Z
    June 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    Beautifully said my friend! I’m so proud of you & I think you are AWESOME!! Hugs to you today.

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