Home > What my boys teach me about God > Do I look pleased?…. another Ben story

Do I look pleased?…. another Ben story

Tonight I allowed my four year old monkey,  I mean son, come to our demo night at one of the dance studios where I work.  Hubby and I prepped him beforehand mentioning how special this was, then emphasizing our expectations on his behavior.   He nodded in agreement and off we went.

Everything started well, but as the night progressed, things got hairy.  It started with taking him to the bathroom where he yelled out with a booming voice from his stall: “Diarrhea!!” – and then continued to give all in the bathroom a play by play.   Meanwhile I’m by the sinks saying to the lady next to me, “Who’s kid is THAT?”….

Fast forward to the performance time where my son decides to cut across the room right where an West African dancer almost trips over him.   I grab his arm and casually pull him next to me. With the mommy fake smile, I spoke in my best “ventriloquist” some sort of threat that if he does that again…..

Well guess what?  Yup, he did it again.   With a mischievous smile, he cut across the room again, crawling in between innocent viewers trying to watch the show amidst him trying to get my attention by yelling at the top of his lungs: “MOMMY!”.    There must be a hole somewhere I can crawl into?

That’s how the evening went, just repeated.  Let’s fast forward to the van ride home where poor Benjamin is getting the riot act from Mommy.  Oh yes, you can imagine the arms flailing, voice raised and Ben looking at me like; “What did I do wrong??”, making me feel like I’m completely overreacting.

I finally said to him as calm as I could; “I’m just disappointed that you said you would listen and then you didn’t.  WHY didn’t you listen??”.  Wanna know his response?  Here it is; “I wanted to listen, but I wanted to have my fun”.

Great.  So his desire for “fun” distracted him from the agreement we made.   That just threw me off the deep end.   Remember your mom going on (and on and on)?  Yup, that was me.  You can imagine I’m sure.  Something along the lines of; “Well are we having fun NOW??….. etc)

Here’s the deal: Ben is now sleeping and my hubby says to me; “I just love our boys”.   Ahhh, yes.   I love them so much.  Nothing can change that.   Ben is my sweet son who I am crazy about.

That being said, even though nothing changes how much I love him, how PLEASED I am with him can be altered (as this evening proved), and tonight, I was not pleased.

I want him to know the difference.   I want him to understand that mommy will love him no matter what.  But I want him to also understand that how pleased I am can change based on his behavior. My reaction to him will respond to his behavior (in the form  of consequences) – but it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving him.

Parenting has opened my eyes again and again to the way God must feel towards us.   How many of us think God is always “mad” at us or “out to get us” for our mistakes?   Many shrink away from the idea that He could love them knowing the issues they struggle with.  Yet tonight I was reminded again of how impossible it is to stop loving your child…. even when they misbehaving.   How many need to be freed of this view of God as the Father who is always upset with His kids??  He CAN’T stop loving you!

However, even though our behavior can’t alter His love towards us, our actions can dictate how pleased He is with us.   Don’t misunderstand; this has nothing to do with His love.  He won’t leave you or give up on you!  I would never do that to my son, and I’m imperfect!  Imagine how much more a perfect God would stick with you!   But God is no different than any parent.  He is pleased or proud when His kids listen to His voice and obey.

How many times have I had a similar conversation with God as Ben did with me; “I WANTED to obey…. but I wanted to have my own fun…”  God, as a wise Father says; “You’re free to have your ‘fun’, but it will rob you of my privileges”.

Did you get that?  As a parent, I don’t DESIRE to punish or give my son the consequences his actions deserve.  No!  I WANT to reward him, give him more privileges!  I want him to listen and obey me so I can trust him with more, not so I can stand over him as dictator.

God is no different.  He has more privileges waiting for those who are faithful.  He has rewards for those who choose to obey, even when  they desire their own way.

So maybe instead of seeing God as the “old ogre in the sky” who waits to strike the “baaad people”, perhaps we could see Him as a loving daddy who desires to bless his kids beyond their imagination.

Whether that happens to you or not is completely in your court.

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  1. Wendy
    May 11, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Great post
    Connie!

  2. June 18, 2011 at 2:29 am

    Funny — just catching up a bit — love mom and dad — grandma and grandpa Jakab

  3. June 18, 2011 at 2:31 am

    We missed this one — we were in Michigan — with Randy, Sharon and family/ love 🙂

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