Home > relationships > Relationships that surprise me

Relationships that surprise me

In this blog, I’m challenging the status quo of our relationships.

I have always had a wide range of friends who vary in age.   I love hanging out with the young as well as with those who double my age.

One of my favorite birthdays was spent with a bunch of middle-aged ladies (I won’t give their ages or they’ll have my head).   We were in Houston, Texas for a Joyce Meyer conference.  After the service, there was no restaurant open to celebrate my birthday.  Where did we end up?  Some Mexican bar.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the opportunity to be in a mexican bar with a bunch of middle-aged women from your church, but it still remains the highlight of my life.   Instead of getting all religious and “huffy”, we just sat down, ate some nachos, AND lo and behold, we ended the night on the dance floor!  There’s my kind of women!

What I loved (and continue to love) about my time with them, is they are the perfect picture of graciousness, loveliness, godliness and compassion.  No, they are not perfect, but they are examples I can be confident to follow.   I knew they were my peeps when I saw how they responded to our “bar” experience (which I must remind you was accidental).  They didn’t use it as an opportunity to drink nor did they sit and judge.  They proved they are the same in public as they are in church.  And as silly as they must have felt, I really knew how much I loved them when they were willing to get up and dance with me!  What a stretch that must have been!

I have a great time with the older ladies in our church AND I have a great time with the younger people in my life too.   I love my Mpact team filled with youth and young adults who continue to keep my life fresh and young.  I love the hugs I get from the teens in the youth group on Sundays.  I value the kids I see in my community who stop to give me high-fives on the street.   I’ve gotten to know them because I’ve taught them dance in their school.

And of course, I love my girls who are in the same season of life as I am.  I love the laughs, tears and dreams we share.   Without them, I couldn’t function.

Generational friendships is a lost art.  We’ve become so secluded into our own little worlds with our own people we feel comfortable with.     There are older women we can learn from (and learn they are actually CRAZIER than us) and the younger gals NEED us.  I know they don’t let on, but they do.  They’re crying out for us older ones to believe in them, support them and cheer them on (and take them for slurpees!  Who doesn’t like a slurpee right?)

The state of young women today with the issues they face scream at us to STOP looking just to our own bubble and find ways to build into their lives.

The thing with fostering friendships outside our normal groups takes a wee bit of courage.  There’s fear that the older lady won’t take us seriously.  There’s fear of the strange look we’ll get when attempting to talk to a teenage girl. (and what do you say anyways?  Word up, home… girl…?)

But when we escape the fears and insecurities of reaching beyond ourselves we find…… beauty.  Beauty in receiving wisdom and giving wisdom.   In learning and mentoring.   In being heard and listening.  And we discover that even midst diversity in age and background, we’re really not much different from each other.

I end with some great quotes from the book I recently finished; “Nurture” by Lisa Bevere which has only fueled my passion further to see women of all ages come together.

“Are we far too busy surviving to make the time to assure that the tender lives surrounding us thrive?”

“People do not grow beyond themselves if they think the world revolves around them”.

“I believe there is such a desperate need for healthy connections among women of all ages”.

“What was painful to the mothers can become a thing of priceless beauty to the daughters”.

“There is connection for all who dare to watch for one”.

Categories: relationships
  1. Wendy
    April 29, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Loved this!I remember hearing about your time in Houston & was so bummed I hadn’t heard about attending. I so echo your heart here! We NEED the generations to come together & to share with one another. This (in my humble opinion) is one of society’s greatest losses.

  2. Laura
    April 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I loved this as well Connie! Gave me a good chuckle. Houston, ahhhh such fond memories. lol Was Houston the same after all those crazy ladies left? I believe that there should be no age lines amoung us, we all have thngs to share with eachother. Love you much my friend. thinking of you as I am basking the warm Vancouver sun. lol Mind not a lot of basking going on.

  3. Belinda
    April 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    Amen to that, Connie!! There is no age limit to friendships!! I too have experienced that. I have always thought of myself as one of the young ones, but I only have to look in the mirror and I jump with shock….. I know I was young once….. can I still be considered young???? Pretty please.

    About 10 years ago, I had to confess to the Lord that I was finding his word a tad …… how can I say this?……dry!

    I knew that it probably was NOT because his word was actually dry, it might have had something to do with… er… ME and the state of my heart. So I asked him to give me a love for his word.

    Before very long I was invited to attend a senior ladies bible study. They really wanted some young blood and someone with a bit of a sense of humour in the group.

    “How long does this study go for?” I asked kinda miffed… “because I AM already in a small group you know…. and I already have one load of bible study homework…..!!!!” “Ten weeks.” she said.

    The ten weeks came and went and we weren’t finished. It went to 20 weeks. Big tut from me…. “I thought you said it was only 10 weeks?” I impatiently pointed out.

    Well……… this 10 weeks has turned into 10 years and I know God must have got a bit of a giggle about me not realizing this was actually the answer to my prayer!!

    I love these ladies….. I have grown to love the Lord more and have a hunger for the Word that I would never have imagined possible. We have done some amazing in depth bible studies…. and at 55 I am the baby. Our most “distinguished” member is 89, there are a few others in their 80’s and a couple in their 70’s……and they are all chomping at the bit to do their homework and meet every week. In the Summer, they never want it to end…. and they would like to start back up as soon as September comes around…… even in August.

    We have laughed together, cried together. Buried one of our group….. buried children, siblings and parents and other family members, seen divorces in our families, had surgeries on various body parts, some of which have had to be replaced.

    It has been an amazing answer to prayer……. in ways that are infinitely more than I could have asked or imagined. Isn’t God funny? Isn’t He cool?

    And…. I also have lots young friends, who occasionally let me cuddle their babies and for some reason like to listen to my ramblings. I have friends my own age… who have shared struggles along the way similar my own.

    I like God’s idea of women needing women. Women of all ages. We can pick each other up, cheer each other on and help each other keep on the straight and narrow.

    Heck we can even enjoy a knees up in a dirty Mexican bar!

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