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How to find yourself

Who am I?  Like who am I REALLY?

Who am I besides what I do?

Who am I besides my talents?

Who am I besides a mom?

If you stripped me of all the “titles”…. WHO AM I?

Questions like these send us women into searching for ourselves.   We long for a deeper meaning.  We crave a significance that comes from within, rather than what is just on the outside.

The problem is WHERE we look for that identity.  The potential danger is HOW we go about “finding ourselves”.  It is common to hear this topic of “finding yourself” through various conversations.  Many find themselves on this very quest.

When I was in high school I had a tape of one of Tony Campolo’s lectures.   I had the tape memorized because every word of it hit a deep chord inside me.   One of the many topics he touched on was “finding yourself”.   I’ll never forget what he said.  Not verbatim, here’s how it went:

“Many students come and tell me they’re not coming back to university next semester.   I always am curious as to why.   Then they start…. I’m on a quest… to FIND myself”.  Tony casually adds a thought: “To this I simply reply: ‘What if in the search for yourself you discover…… you’re an onion?  Now that may just be true!  After you peel away all the roles, talents, images… you may just be an onion!  What do you get when you peel away all the skins of an onion?….. nothing.

Nothing.  Could it be after we go through the grueling task of finding who we really are, there’s…. nothing?   Yes.   Because life is not about finding yourself, it’s about losing yourself.  This world was never meant for our true essence to be discovered in full.  It is meant to strip us of all SELF so we can put on more of Him.   You could spend your whole life searching for who you are, but in the end you would end that gruesome search with… nothing.

Many don’t like this idea of losing yourself.  It goes against every message we are bombarded with each day: believe in yourself, you can do it, don’t let anyone hold you back, look within, you have the power, just get that title, just get that job, just … and the list goes on.   But losing yourself?   That just doesn’t fit.

But remember, the losing yourself is for a purpose.  A purpose greater than you or me or anyone who has ever populated our earth combined.  A purpose that no man can thwart.  A purpose that has stood the test of time and can not be reverted.   Losing ourselves is for the sake of the gospel: God’s story of love to broken mankind.

You see, when we seek to find ourselves it usually involves distraction from the main thing: being a light to a lost world.   Life can too quickly become all about us.  When we seek to find ourselves, we miss out on the revealing of the secret inside: Christ in you!  The hope of glory! (Colossians 1:27).  And His glory makes our attempt at glory look….. pathetic.

David tells us to write God and His words on the tablets of our hearts.  Find Him, you’ll find yourself.  You were made in His image.   At the end of this life, when your eyes meet His, all the self you “lost” here on earth will be found and given back to you in perfect completion.

Categories: a new spirituality
  1. April 29, 2011 at 5:04 am

    Excellent — love mom and dad Jakab

  1. July 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm

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