Home > Getting missional > Pool time is over

Pool time is over

We had a speaker in this Sunday at church who briefly mentioned that the cause of narcissism is a result of being wounded.  It was one of those “passing” comments  that had so much depth to it.  If what the speaker said is true, then we  have a lot of wounded people walking around.

First of all, that’s a big word.  Let’s find out what it means.  Here’s what wikipedia has to say about it:

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

The name “narcissism” was coined by Freud after Narcissus who in Greek myth was a pathologically self-absorbed young man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool.

Hmmmm….. I can totally see this!   When I allow myself to be consumed with “poor me syndrome”, all I can see is myself.   There I am, continuously looking at my reflection in the pool, hypnotized by the gaze of self pity staring back at me.  Meanwhile, many pass by…. alone, needing a friend, needing a helping hand….. but I don’t see them, because I’m still looking into the pool of self.

Those who are truly egotistical or conceited are a rare breed.   Most wrestle with the other side of the spectrum; self doubt.  Yet both are rooted in the exact same thing; pride, which in turn, is what keeps narcissism moving through our veins.

We need to go against this cultural norm.  We need to hate it enough to want to see it changed in our life.  We need to fight against it with all the intention we can muster.  It has become so commonly acceptable it can even be hard to recognize.

The way to battle it looks different.  It is done with a different spirit.  It is done with kindness, selflessness, humility and love.  The best way to stop narcissism in its tracks is for us to stop playing the victim.  To turn wounds into wins – and not counterfeit “wins” fueled by positive thinking, but genuine character change empowered by the only One who can bring change.

Our deepest pain can expose our unique calling.   It reveals our audience.  It is the very place where we make the most effective impact.

It’s time to turn the inward look at our wounds to “outward”; seeing where they can be used for good.   It’s time to take what was meant to destroy us to deepen us in our faith and mission in the world.

You have a story that others need to hear.  Only you can speak it.   Pool time is over.  It’s time for the wounded to find their Healer and rise up like an army.

a definition of humility for a self-esteem culture: “It is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less” – Len Sweet

You can’t understand the pain of others until you’ve suffered deeply yourself. – Rick Warren

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Categories: Getting missional
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