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Mommy guilt

Moms are the guiltiest people on the planet.  Not because of things we DO per-say, but because of the things we DON’T do.   We’re constantly beating ourselves up for all the things WE think we SHOULD have done.   We carry a LOAD of “should” on our shoulders.   We over-analyze everything.


Guilt dictates to us what we will do that day and what we won’t.


“I can’t workout today, my baby seems more ‘needy’ at the moment”


“I’ll skip out on girls night out as the kids are being too rowdy for my hubby to handle”


“All the other moms take their kids to playgroups, maybe I should too?  All the other moms bought THAT stroller because its the safest and has the best features.  All the other moms say not to buy THAT for your child….”


“I need to buy my son a nice toy.  I yelled at him today.  I feel so terrible.”


“I’d love to do something to make a difference in my community but where can I find the time?”


Did you hear the guilt in all those comments?  And that doesn’t even touch the surface of what goes through our minds as moms!   What we say out loud would be a document too long, let alone what we THINK!


As soon as guilt attaches itself to an idea, as great as that idea is, it is now an insurmountable, awful task.  For example:


Working out is a GREAT idea for moms!  Get those positive endorphins movin’ through the body!   Get momma feelin’ good about herself!  But as soon as the word “should” enters the equation, working out now feels anything but positive.  And an amazing thing happens when we get to that point: all of a sudden we come up with all sorts of reasons why we SHOULDN’T or CAN’T.   Things that weren’t even an issue become one as soon as the “should” speaks.   “The baby is fussy, I better not workout”.   No, the real reason you’re not working out (besides the fact that you’ve had no sleep for the past few years….) is that “should” knocked on your door and sucked all the greatness of the idea out.


Its the same in every situation from working out to getting out of the house to doing something productive with your life.


And so there we are.   Us moms are held captive by guilt (aka: “should”) and therefore will now do NOTHING.   You know what happens when NOTHING happens for awhile?


NOTHING CONTINUES TO HAPPEN (profound isn’t it?)


Nothing you say?   Perhaps you’d like to argue that all those soap operas, TV shows, un-ending days on facebook pressing “refresh” hoping a new status shows up, cleaning the house for the 3rd time that day, and the odd playdate out is SOMETHING?


I don’t know about you, but that kind of “something” would get old too fast.


I tend to be on the other end of the pendulum – I get overly ambitious and need to simmer.  If there’s anything I’m learning right now it’s that I can’t do everything….


but I can still do something.


Moms, don’t fall for the trick that guilt plays on you.   Guilt makes us feel we can’t.   We all have things that society needs.   I’m tired of the same old.   I’m done with it.  I don’t want my life to just be about the next play date or show on TV.  I want to make a valuable contribution to the world.   I believe that inside, we all do.   What holds us back?  The “should’ or “I wish I could”




Maybe you can’t go as “hard core” as you’d like at the moment (if you have young kids at home), but the missional part of our life doesn’t press pause just because we have kids.   In fact, what can we do to INCLUDE them?!


So I dare you to ignore guilt’s message.    Take care of yourself.  Workout. Eat well.  Cultivate quality friendships (which take an investment of time) and contribute to making the world a better place.


Don’t do it because you “should” but because you CAN!


Christ didn’t come to condemn you but to give you LIFE and life more abundant than what you’re living at present. (John 3:17)



“Guilt is a tool of the enemy to try to minimize the powerful call on your life….live full of the future.” – Matthew Barnett


Categories: Getting missional
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