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The Wall

We chatted yesterday about true beauty coming from cultivating our hearts.  What the heck does that look like?   Let’s find out.  Over the next week of blogs (today, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday)  this will be the focus.  And as much as its geared mostly to women, I’m sure you guys can find nuggets too (not THOSE kind of nuggets!!  Geesh, men interpreting a woman’s blog…. what to do with them)

 

I think a good place to start is that a guarded heart is also a soft heart.  “Guarding” our hearts sounds like walls doesn’t it?   But it’s not.  It’s allowing our hearts to go from rock-hard stature to soft clay-like form.   This means allowing God to wash over hurts and pain that have gradually caused us to become cautious and restrained.

 

Somehow the condition of our heart slowly creeps up through time and makes its way to showing itself visibly on our face.   Bitter people look…. “bitter”.  There’s a sourness to their facial structure.  Likewise, a soft heart shows itself through caring eyes that can undermine resistance.

 

Us women are sensitive.  Just ask our significant others.  Man, they say just ONE THING wrong and we’re in tears.   Get a strange look from another fellow female and we shrink.   Hear gossip about our personal lives and our day is shot – where’s the ice cream bucket?

 

We all deal with it a little different.  For me, I start out in a ball of fury.  Anger penetrates my every word (which are very loud by the way), then I crumble in a ball of tears reflecting how the anger has morphed into visible hurt.  What is detrimental for me is to hold onto the hurt that I’ve just experienced.  I need to let it go or I’ll find the tears turn my heart hard after time.

 

What do us gals do when too much hurt has accumulated?  We build the wall… we build it high and strong.  NO ONE can penetrate.   But you won’t see the wall because we hide it with our masks.   On the outside, we make it look like everything is perfect, but when we get home and the strength of holding up our mask crumbles, nothing can cure the despair.

 

I don’t get why we allow ourselves to get to that place.   Put the bucket of ice-cream away – we don’t have to feel this way.  No one is winning here.   We’re drowning in desperation and even depression when a free life full of being free to love and trust is right there for the taking.   Yes, people will hurt us, but there’s a life that can be lived by not hiding from them.   We can face them, even graciously forgive them and move on!  Did you know that??

 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26


It’s time to give all that hurt to Jesus.  It doesn’t mean you won’t feel it again tomorrow.  That’s when you give it up again.   After time, it will give up on you and leave you alone.  It’s not usually a one time deal….

 

It’s time to love people again.   It’s time to have the wisdom to know who to truly make your kindred and who to graciously keep at a distance (did you know that’s ok?)   Sometimes our hurt is self-inflicted by unwise choices in friends.   Choose wisely.  Include everyone but trust your secrets only those who you know will be loyal till the end.  If you don’t have any of those, prayerfully watch and wait for them.  They will come.   Don’t be afraid to ask them, “Will you be my friend?”.  Dorky feeling but we don’t have a whole lot of time as moms to beat around the bush.

 

I think we’ll all find the softening of our hearts more effective than the best anti-aging treatment.

 

Time to get radiant, friends.  Time to get soft.  Time for the wall to fall.

 

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Categories: womanly stuff
  1. March 4, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Re: Your first paragraph,
    We chatted yesterday about true beauty coming from cultivating our hearts. What the heck does that look like? Let’s find out. Over the next week of blogs… this will be the focus.
    And as much as its geared mostly to women, I’m sure you guys can find nuggets too (not THOSE kind of nuggets!! Geesh, men interpreting a woman’s blog…. what to do with them)
    RE: This last sentence, I really really had a good laugh – thanks for making my day – AWESOME!! –
    love Dad Jakab 🙂 🙂
    Even Martha came over to see what was going on.

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