Home > a new spirituality > Who do you think you are? My fear of stepping out

Who do you think you are? My fear of stepping out

I have spoken much of my journey of surrender in my blogs.  I am still in that place – nothing’s changed.   However, there’s always a deep moving in my soul to not sit still.  To not allow life to just “pass by”. There’s too much at stake.   There’s a world in need and an urgency to seize each moment for all that can be done for the kingdom of God.

You wanna know what annoys me to no end?  Reading or listening to someone inspire me beyond my hyper-driven imagination to do all I can in this life to further God’s cause.  It annoys me because its the same story again and again; afterwards I ask, “Ok God, what’s the plan then??”, and I hear…. nothing.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a TON of ideas, but no permission to get going on any of them.

However, there comes a time when God calls us out of the comfortable into the unknown.   Those who have ventured into this dark abyss of the uncertain know that this takes an enormous amount of guts.  As of late, I’ve been feeling the nudging of God’s finger on my back pushing me into areas that honestly scare the snot out of me (great visual eh?).   These things He has put on my heart are things I’m passionate about and get me super excited!  But the idea of them actually happening makes me wanna pee my pants.

What’s up with that?   Lately, I have had many meaningful conversations surrounding this.  Many girlfriends of mine have so many cool dreams and burdens on their hearts –  it gets me energized!!  However, what’s the number one thing that’s hindering them and me?   That voice inside that says:

Who do you think you are?

I’ve done many things in my life that I’ve had no problem stepping out and doing, but now that its come down to what has been in the depth of my core for many years now – all I hear is that very sentence echoing every where I turn.

Who do you think you are? – echoes in my mind as I remember my own limitations

Who do you think you are? – screams at me as I compare myself to others who I feel are better qualified.

Who do you think you are? – seeps into the back of my head as I feel the questioning stares of those who really wonder,  “Who does she think she is anyways?   Does she really think she’s that good?”

Who do you think you are? – these words paralyze my steps forward as I wonder; “Will anyone even be there to support me?  To sincerely cheer me on?  Or will I find myself alone?”

Alone?  ….. Scary.  I sure hope not.  No one should step into their dreams alone.  Its comforting to feel the hands of friends holding you up.  It makes facing all the fear just a little bit easier.  But there are times in life when we have to look fear square in the face and walk through it – even if we have to do that with no one by our side.

I have experienced this a couple of times in my life.  I’m always happy to cheer others on and make a way for them, but when it has come time for me to be supported, I’ve looked behind me only to find…. no one.   I’m sure you have found a time or two like that in your life as well.   At that moment, will we become bitter, wondering why “everyone else” gets all the support? (or so it seems)  Or will we suck it up, become the courageous person God created us to be and just do it anyways.   The latter is what heroes are made of.

The fact is, there IS someone who is always going to be there when we find ourselves standing on the brink of stepping into whatever scares us to death.  He was there for a young man who was thrown into leadership over an entire nation who would go to battle for a land God told them was to be theirs.

Here’s what God told him and is there today telling us too:

Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”(Joshua 1:9)

I pray that when you and I step out, we’ll find supportive ones right there.  But let us never forget that God HIMSELF is there, believing in us.  Everything He calls us to do, HE will make the way.  He will do this so we can’t boast that it was because of our own ability.  We will know it was Him.  The hard part sometimes is trusting that He will provide the doors to open at the right place and the right time.   When in the “waiting room” its easy to feel like maybe He forgot?….  But He hasn’t.

Who do you think YOU are?  You’re HIS.   Let that empower you’re every move.

“Faithfully pursue your cause and don’t worry about persuading the world that you’re a success.” – Matthew Barnett

Categories: a new spirituality
  1. February 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Hey Connie — soon coming to 64 years of age – and what I am sharing is what has been on my own heart. I am convince more than ever that the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and practicing being filled with the fullness of His Anointing will make all the difference, even in my own life.

    The church has in our day been spinning its wheels -with all its programs – but where is the same power and anointing that was demonstrated in the life of the Early Church believers — God gives us His power when we come into being filled with all the fullness of His Spirit. These are the things that changed John G. Lake, Smith Wigglesworth and all the others that were so anointed and dynamic.

    Many places today and 90 percent of Christians if not more say — I have the Holy Spirit — only because they have been taught wrong.. The baptism is what brough Jesus into the fullness of His own ministry — as well as all the rest of the believers.. I have been now asking the Lord for that He will restore Holy Spirit Filled Prayer Meetings — that is what will change us and give us clarity of direction. Keep giving out the messages the Lord has been giving you: love and blessings, dad Jakab

  2. February 28, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    And by the way — surrender is also learning to walk in the crucified life — that is all part of it and the Lord cannot fill people who are full of everything else but Him .

  3. March 1, 2011 at 6:12 am

    What I’ve come to see is that God will take us through various seasons not to tempt us but to test us. Often times it has nothing to do with our giftings but everything to do with our calling and destiny in Christ. Many times God calles us into a season of what might appear to be waiting but it’s a season of preparation. The building up of our character.

    Being filled with the Spirit is a blessing, it’s empowering, it brings our giftings to a whole new level BUT… Our character and knowing who we are is more important then what we do. When we know our identity in Christ it’s easier to stand like Joshua and Caleb.

  4. June 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    I’m in this place too, of waiting anticipating. I find some days that God is asking me to be faithful in the small serving my family, my neighbors, my friends before he will take me beyond that.

    Excited to see where this takes you…I know I just “met” you and it’s only through here but I’m behind anyone that God is using, especially in our city.

  5. Ro
    June 30, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Maybe it’s just me, but I feel we, as in the church, have developed an inferiority complex that distracts us from being participants in God’s redemption plan.

    We either don’t feel adequate for the dreams we have.

    Or we don’t act out our dreams in anticipation of some type of voice confirmation from God.

    God’s moving around us regardless of our participation or not, so sometimes all that’s needed to be done is for me to say, “yes.”

  1. June 30, 2011 at 2:11 pm

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