For the first time in my motherhood life I’ve grounded my son.   I never imagined “grounding” a 4 year old.  I didn’t experience this till my teen years.  It was almost strange to say: “That’s it, you’re not going out”…..?   Where’s my 4 year old going without me?   Wait a minute…. I’M GROUNDED TOO!  Noooooo…… (haha)


Ben’s attitude has been going downhill for awhile now.   The straw broke the back when I recently took him to a movie as a special treat.  Despite how special it was, he was so rude.  That did it.  I told him he wasn’t going anywhere special, getting any candy or treats for a week.  As you can imagine, the first day home was more punishment for me than him.  He tested us, pushed every button, trying to get us to give up our consequence, but we endured!


I couldn’t believe how angry I found myself at my son for taking for granted all the special things he gets to do like go to preschool, swimming lessons,  karate and special outings, like a movie.   It upset me that he would expect these things and not see them as special privileges given out of my heart, wanting to bless him.


Funny thing is that while in the grocery store I found myself seeing some great Wii games I knew Ben would love on sale.   There, amidst my anger, was still a desire to bless my son.  Why?  Because I love him!   Even though his words and actions proved less than worthy, my heart still loves to be generous to him.   To buy something at that point would have been foolish and only encourage his behavior to continue, so I walked away from the games, saddened that his actions withheld my hand of blessing.


On the way home reflecting on this I was hit with a “lightttbuulllb”.


There have been times in my life when God has showered His favor and blessings onto my life, only for me to respond with a spoiled mentality thinking God owes me.  I can pin point these times in my life; where I’ve looked up to heaven, still expecting the same blessings only to have been stripped of them.  What a wake-up call!  These were troubling, dark times, so I would never want to say that God did this to me to hurt me or show His anger.  Yet, this episode with my son has shown me perhaps why God would allow it.


If I allowed Ben to continue in his spoiled mentality, it would get worse and I wouldn’t be doing him any favors.  Imagine this allowing to grow in his heart and show up in school?     Or even further down the road, in his work and family?  Perhaps God loves me so much that He doesn’t want me to continue in destructive behavior that tampers with His potential in me?   He cares about what prospers inside of me.   Having things taken away leave me void of the “right” I thought I had to them.  As painful and angry as it may leave me, it causes me to think and reflect.  Unfortunately for me in these very situations I see that it took me a couple of years to catch on….


Funny thing is that, just as I still wanted to bless Ben with a new Wii game despite his downward-spiral attitude, God still longs to bless me when I reflect the same action.  It’s not God being mean.  It’s not even God withholding good things as “punishment”…. It is ME not permitting God to continue to see these blessings continue in my life.  This saddens Him to see all the things that could be given to me only to be stopped by my own foolish choices.


The faster my son learns the lesson, the quicker we can get back to normal, and he can experience all the wonderful things I want him to experience.   Doesn’t God feel the same?   Isn’t He wishing the same for me?  “Come on, Connie – GET IT so we can move on”.


The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. (Psalm 84:11)

I don’t believe that every challenging situation that we face is because we weren’t living right.  Sometimes He gives and takes away….. not because of consequences to our own actions, but just because He knows something we don’t.   Because His ways are higher.  In these situations, all we have left to do is trust.


For the times we’ve stopped God’s generous hand through our own pride, may we learn quick, get up and move forward again into what He has for us.  Let there be a ligghhhtbuulllb.


Be sure you are feeding what you want to grow and starving what you want to die – Mark Hawkes

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