Home > a new spirituality > Coming out of the closet

Coming out of the closet

 

I’ve had a fight with a bug that won’t go away these last few weeks.  Mom’s should not be allowed to get sick.   When mom’s sick, the whole house suffers.  Poor hubby gets left to juggle the kids and the house takes a nose dive into chaotic mess.

 

Tonight, I was visited by three angels.  No, not Charlie’s angels, but close.  These three angels came to my door with cleaning supplies in hand.   They swept in and began cleaning my messy house.  They folded laundry that’s been piled up for the last few days.  They disinfected the counters and organized clutter.  They even cleaned the bathroom….. (insert scary music here)

 

I wasn’t sure what to think about all this.   On one hand, I was so thankful and amazed I have such wonderful friends in my life!  Yet on the other hand, I was pretty humbled to allow them to do this.   Why?  Because I was embarrassed for them to see my house in such mayhem.   Do you think they cared?….. no.

 

I have a friend who will not let anyone come over unless her house is up to her standard.  I tease her about it – yet I TOTALLY get it.   I don’t want people to see the disorder I can find myself living in (welcome to the world of having children).   Yet, if I visit someone else’s house in the same array, I don’t even flinch.  Do you think I care?….. no.

 

Why do we care so much about how our home appears?  Why am I embarrassed about a house that has my children’s handi-work all over it? (a.k.a. clutter and mess)

 

It’s because it makes me feel vulnerable.  It bleeds my imperfection.  I want people to believe I live in a perfect world.   I don’t want anyone to judge me.  If they see my “mess”, I’m now open to potential criticism.   But if I can quickly stuff everything into my closets and under the bed before you get to my house (and you can bet that’s EXACTLY what I do), then I can feel good about the “perfect” atmosphere I make you believe I live in….. and man, that makes me feel great.

 

“How do you keep your house so clean juggling work, a preschooler and baby?”, you ask?   I blush, “Oh, it’s nothing….” – nothing but a lot of anxiety and panic to try and get it like this before your finger presses the doorbell.   And lets not forget how it almost wrecked my marriage and caused my children to need future counseling to get it to look that way.

 

Ever notice we’re the same with God?  We don’t want Him to see our inner “mess”.  We cover up our weakness with personality, altruism, and hopeful “brownie points”.  We’re afraid to stand before Him vulnerable and naked of our efforts.  We’re afraid of being “judged” by Him.  We’re afraid that He will reject us and consider us unworthy.   We almost EXPECT Him to respond this way.  So we stuff all our “junk” into the closet, hoping He doesn’t decide to look inside it.

 

But check out what Jesus says to us:

“I’ve loved you the way the Father has loved Me.  Make yourselves at home in my love.  If you keep my commands, you’l remain intimately at home in my love.  That’s what I’ve done – kept My Father’s commands and make Myself at home in His love. (John 15:9-10)


The fact is that despite our “mess”, Jesus loves us.

 

No matter what junk lies in our closets, He invites us to make ourselves at home in His love.   To make ourselves “at home” means to be comfortable.   Be comfortable in His love.   Be comfortable enough to know that you can show your “real self” and not be turned away.  This doesn’t mean we become so comfortable we take Him for granted, but wouldn’t it be amazing to not feel ashamed in front of Him once your religious and “do good” facade is removed and the closet contents revealed?

 

Jesus really doesn’t care what your “house” looks like.   He doesn’t care what awful shape you feel your life is in.  He accepts you.  Fall into His love.   All He asks for you to remain at home in His love is to do what He says.  Choose to follow Him.

 

Shame cripples us.   God doesn’t want you in that place.

 

Many get the “Jesus loves me” stuff, yet it doesn’t change their life.  But God wants to change your life.   He’s not going to criticize your mess, but doesn’t it suck continually living in it?  Isn’t it exhausting constantly trying to keep up appearances?  Jesus wants to help you clean your mess – like my angels did for me tonight.

 

It’s time to clean out the closet.

 

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Categories: a new spirituality
  1. Charlene Z
    February 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    I’m blessed because of your honesty. You are a treasure!

  2. February 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Amen — We are saved by the blood of the Lamb and by His Grace — We have friends who have gone to keeping the Sabbath — but we are not saved by what day we decide to go to church — we are saved by what Jesus did. love you Connie

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