Home > womanly stuff > are you a haughty?

are you a haughty?

I’ve been pondering the kind of woman I would like to be lately.  Like, what would I like to be known for?   What would I like others to say about me when I’m not around?  Ever thought about that?

Because I teach hip hop I’m in a lot of junior high and high schools.  You walk down the halls and you see a swarm of haughty eyes.  And those without them are the ones who have barely any self esteem left.  They’re the ones being shoved in lockers.  Today’s media, music vids and music promote it.   Look out for #1.  I’m #1.  Don’t mess with me.  Treating others like dirt to get to the top is the norm.

I have a confession.  I love the movie “Mean Girls”. (don’t tell anyone ok?)  I’m not sure what it is about that movie that’s so entertaining?   But I love Lindsay Lohan’s character and how she tries to gain popularity and then comes back to reality.  Takes me right back to high school.   Regina George is a perfect picture of this “haughtiness” mentioned in Proverbs.

Now many of us would never put ourselves in the “Regina George” category.  We would never think of treating others like that.  We would never say we look down on people and treat them less than worthy….

Then something struck my heart when I was reading Proverbs.

Proverbs 6:16-17 “There are six things the Lord hates, yes, seven things which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes….”   Ok, stop there.  I didn’t even get to the rest – that one got me.

Before I tell you why it hit me so hard, what on earth does “haughty” mean anyways??   In the Hebrew it means “swelling”.   Like we would say in today’s language, “Their head is swelled up” – meaning pride.   That’s what haughty is.  It means looking on others like you’re better than them.

The kind of woman I want to be isn’t about NOT having “haughty eyes”.   Its not about me patting myself on the back for not treating others like dirt in order to be admired.  No.  It’s not about that.   The opposite of haughty eyes is compassionate eyes.  Eyes that embrace people – not judge them.   Eyes that are willing to see past people’s masks.  Eyes that instead of coldly looking past people to get where I want to go, I SEE them.  I smile.   I even smile at the woman who has “haughty eyes” looking down on my lack of fashion.   I allow my eyes to go from a cold glare to a soft glance at those who favor only the seemingly popular.  Eyes that go beyond just good, benevolent acts. Eyes that are willing to take time to befriend those who have been forgotten.  Eyes that are willing to include those who have been excluded…

And when I read that God hates haughty eyes, that means He INTENSELY hates it (in the hebrew).  And when it says that haughty eyes are an abomination to Him it means it is absolutely disgusting to Him (in the hebrew).   If God has this view and I’m His follower, then doesn’t that mean that I should feel the same?….

To change the eyes from haughtiness to humility goes against the flow.  It gets some strange looks back.  It seems weak and uncool.   It catches people off-guard.  But as different as it feels – I rather like it better.   There are days I’m tempted to bring out the “be-otch” just to get some respect – but its not what I’d like to be known for.  I’d like to be known for the difference.   For embracing when the world is pushing away.  For mercy when people are indifferent.

When I’m not around, I pray that people can say that I have eyes like Jesus…… eyes of compassion

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Categories: womanly stuff
  1. December 29, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    I like this one. It’s always good to note that homosexuality isn’t the only lifestyle and behavior that scripture calls an abomination to the Lord. 🙂

    • December 30, 2010 at 12:22 am

      haha, I couldn’t agree more. There’s so many more things God hates, I don’t know why we always focus on homosexuality.

      • January 8, 2011 at 11:36 pm

        I have a few ideas on that one.

        It’s actually easy to focus on the “sin” that is out there for everybody to see. When the “sin” is in your face and when an agenda is being pushed and it runs contrary to the conservative church’s it threatens some people especially those who really don’t understand the real issues at hand. It’s the culture wars. In the past people focused on Human Rights and inter-racial marriage was the controversial topic within the church’s and within society. But since the start of the sexual revolution the church has not responded well to issues around sexuality and identity.

        The church responded by an extreme posture of holiness and everything contrary to that would be stigmatized. And the issues would never be addressed. People would still be held bound by hypocrisy and self righteousness, and those needing real answers for real issues would be left to make sense of their reality but really being just as confused as ever doing what they think is right, while others just going with the flow without any moral compass at all.

        One of the things about humility is the fact that we own our stuff. We take responsibility for our own lives instead of trying to take responsibility for how somebody else will live their life and then judging the other because their life and faith is not like ours.

        And then there is the other extreme where truth is never spoken at all and sloppy grace becomes the trend and there’s no chance of repentance given.

        And then nothing ever gets resolved. ha!
        And then people focus on the extreme.

        Why don’t we pray for a reformation of God’s grace, truth, and holiness to revive the church 🙂

  2. laura meilleur
    December 30, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    |Well said Connie, so often we overlook the ones that the Lord is asking us to love.

  3. laura meilleur
    December 30, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    Well said Connie, so often we overlook the ones that the Lord is asking us to love. Thanks for speaking this out.

  1. July 11, 2011 at 12:48 pm

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