Home > The heart of a worshipper > I hate waiting….

I hate waiting….

I hate waiting….. like really, really, really hate waiting.  I hate waiting in line, I hate waiting for my son to finish getting his coat on, I hate waiting in traffic, I hate waiting to save money to buy something I want, and I really hate waiting for my ideas and dreams to come to pass.   Anyone relate?    I guess you can say I’m impatient.  OR as I’d like to think; I just don’t like wasting time.  Let’s get it done!  NOW!  Or even better would have been five minutes ago.

So where does God have me right now?  You guessed it….. waiting…..  I’m sure I’m very entertaining to watch from heaven’s view. However, I have learned the consequences of jumping ahead of God far too many times, that this time I’m embracing the “wait time” better than I have before.

“Wait for the Lord.  Be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)   There’s that four letter word again.    I had to find out what it meant in the Hebrew: it means “bind together”, “expect”, “tarry”.   That changes my mindset on waiting a bit.   When God has me in a period of “waiting” it’s His time of getting me to bind to Him.   It’s still time to expect (that part I’m good at) but also to tarry (not so good here)….. to CONTINUE to wait, bind to God and expect when things aren’t happening in the time I think they should.

There are two kinds of people I’ve noticed.  People who are expectant and people who are not.   Often, expectant people like myself are impatient and want results fast.   Non-expectant people almost seem apathetic and pessimistic with no ambition (well, this is how they seem to an impatient person like me).   God’s kind of “waiting” wants to bring these two different perspectives into balance: to still expect!  Not to lose vision and hope!  Just like Abraham who chose to believe God – and because he did, God called him “righteous”.   But to be able to continue to expect through the seasons of time.   To be able to last beyond the “hype” and “emotion”.   To stick to God and His promises no matter what happens and for however long it takes.

I’ve often struggled with God about those in the Bible who had amazing promises given to them but never saw them come to pass.  Like Abraham – dying never understanding to what extent his descendants would really be!   Like Moses who put up with major leadership pains for 40 years only to not be allowed to enter the place he was promised  for all those years!  Just doesn’t seem fair!  Could God possibly do that to me as well?  I mean, doesn’t God realize how important my life and calling is?   Doesn’t He realize  what He’s promised ME? …..

So you know what this season of “waiting” has done to me?    The more time God has had me in waiting, the less important that “calling” has become.  The less important the “promise” has become.   Have I fallen for mediocrity?   No way!  Besides waiting, that’s something else I can’t stand!   But in this season of having no other choice than binding myself to God I’m realizing that all my ambitions, hopes, dreams melt at His feet.   I’ve realized that God, Himself has dreams and hopes…… and He’s willing to wait to see them come to pass.   I’m realizing how small and insignificant my dreams are in comparison to His.   I realize where my life stands in the light of eternity…

I’m still expectant, but I’m willing to tarry.  My goal has changed.  Instead of seeing all that I can achieve: HE Himself becomes my ambition.   But this isn’t out of my own self-righteousness.  I’ve been brought to this place with no choice really.   God, in His grace, has caused each step I try to make for myself to crumble bringing me again to my knees in surrender.

“One thing I have asked from the Lord that I will seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty (delightfulness) of the Lord and to meditate (inquire) in His temple.”  (Psalm 27:4)

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

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  1. December 18, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I have so often asked myself the question, would I be willing to give my life to my calling, or to a purpose if I never see it come to pass. Especially in our generation this is a tough one for us to grasp. We want to build empires in days or maybe a few years. And we definitely don’t do very well with the thoughts of our calling being not just “our” callings but part of a bigger callings. I think about the people who used to build cathedrals over hundreds of years. They were a part of something so beautiful and grand. But how many generations would die before it was completed. Did they still have a sense of worth and purpose knowing that maybe their great great grandson would enjoy their handiwork?

    Hard to wait patiently, I like what you say about switching the focus from what “I” can do…

  2. December 18, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Kristy-Anne! I LOVE the image you’ve just presented here. So true about our generation – we’re so used to “instant” yet there really is something beautiful about having even just a little part in a bigger picture.
    What you’ve said is very good to keep in mind. It isn’t for nothing – but we trust that God knows what He’s doing with our lives.

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